Tag Archives: funny

$100K virginity auction with a weird twist!

valentina

Valentina is undeniably a beautiful girl. According to Sexonico, the Brazilian company auctioning her virginity, ”She has green eyes, fleshy lips, full breasts and a body that is the envy of all women.” The lucky man who places the winning bid will be flown to Sao Paulo for a night’s stay in the presidential suite at Motel Swing, with a special candlelight dinner with champagne, an aromatic bath with rose petals, and a digital camera to shoot the experience for posterity. As of today, bidding has topped $105,000.

There’s just one thing… Valentina is made of rubber, or latex, or whatever the hell they make lifelike sex dolls from. Guys, wouldn’t you rather spend the money taking an actual real woman out on a date? Or just stay home and watch some of your vivthomas.com movies. At least you won’t smell of rubber in the morning (unless that’s your thing).

A libido-boosting breakfast?

sexcereal

When I first saw this I thought it was a spoof, but no – Sexcereal is the world’s first gender-based granola from Canada for people wanting to boost their sex drive. The men’s version is said to support testosterone production, while the women’s version supports hormonal balance. Both contain maca, a herb thought to have a stimulating effect on the libido. And the packaging is cute as hell!

Have any of you tried this? Any suggestions for other libido-boosting foods? Of course, a few minutes browsing vivthomas.com may have all the stimulating effect you need…

 

Five reasons why sex is good for you!

It’s a sad fact of life that not everything we enjoy is good for us, but here’s the good news – sex, in all it’s wonderful permutations, is scientifically proven to be health-enhancing! Here are five reasons to get your freak on:

1. It’s a great workout for your heart and lungs, and 20 minutes of vigorous humping can burn up to 150 calories. Having sex twice a week almost halves the risk of heart attack in men, according to one academic study. It tones up your muscles too, especially if you vary the positions. Lying back getting a blowjob doesn’t really count though – you have to put your back into it!

2. Orgasms are natural painkillers, triggering the release of endorphins such as serotonin and oxytocin. If nothing else, it will distract you from moaning about your aches and pains – just be careful not to pull a muscle while you’re swinging from the chandelier!

3. Regular sex raises your testosterone levels, making you feel more virile, and therefore more likely to attract amorous attention. Good for the ladies too; they also need testosterone to enhance their libido. What’s more, frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

4. It lowers levels of the stress hormones, which can suppress immunity and make us more prone to illness. It also increases positive feelings and boosts self-confidence.

5. It’s fun! What other reason do you need?

Kylie Minogue’s naked bottom revealed!

Now this is something I can really get behind… petite pop hottie Kylie Minogue shows off her sense of humour as well as her fabulous ass in this short film by Katerina Jebb. Kylie looks the picture of fashion model elegance as she sashays towards a staircase in her evening gown… until she turns, to reveal a totally uncovered – and perfectly peachy – rear end! I wish a few more of our celebrity flashers had Kylie’s sense of fun. Love it!

Novel uses for sex toys!

Ever wondered what to do with your sex toys when you’re not using them? Homemade Sex Toys has the answer! Why not use that butt plug as a handy doorstop, or make a coat hook from that double dildo?

I’d rather see two gorgeous girls put some sex toys to good use, as Gina B and Stella Stevens are doing below, but hell, in these recessionary times it’s good to get added value from your household objects! What’s your favourite vivthomas.com scene that uses a sex toy as the manufacturer intended?

 

 

 

The world’s biggest natural tits!

How big is too big? This is Annie, whose breasts are size 102ZZZ and weigh 85 pounds. That’s BIG. Annie loves her bazookas, and directs adult movies under the name Norma Stitz (love it!).

I was just wondering, who pushes the boundaries for breast size here at vivthomas.com? Do you love Chikita‘s chest puppies and rejoice in Jazmine Bloom‘s kajooblies, or is more than a handful a waste?

Victoria’s Secret Angels lust after sexy women!

It seems like everyone is putting their ‘sexy lists’ together at the moment… you certainly sit up and take notice when the delicious Victoria’s Secret Angels pick out their Sexiest Celebrities of 2012 though! I sure as hell want to know who Candice Swanepoel finds sexy… I’m still hoping it’s ME!

Okay, so some of their choices were a little generic – Beyonce? Brittney Spears? C’mon girls, use a little imagination – but I have to approve their choice of Charlize Theron as sexiest actress (and I’m hoping that means Candice really does have a thing for tall South African blondes!). Better yet, they picked the stunning Emma Stone as ‘Sexiest Sense of Humour’. Now, she is certainly a fine comedy actress (I lurve Zombieland!) but her sense of humour is far from the only thing I find sexy about her. It doesn’t hurt that she also has a beautiful face, great body, and seems like she would be so much fun to roll around in the hay with! Nice to know I share one of my not-so-secret crushes with the fine Victoria’s Secret stars.

One interesting thing… I can’t find any overtly sexy pics of her – and believe me, I’ve tried! Could Emma Stone be that rare thing, a gorgeous Hollywood actress who doesn’t take softcore porn style publicity photos? She’s welcome here at vivthomas.com anytime, I would love to see Viv photograph her! Is she Hollywood’s sexiest natural redhead?

How often should women masturbate?

Ladies, be honest – how often do you masturbate? Once a week? Once a day? Once an hour?! Apparently none of us are doing it enough, according to the resident sexpert at Your Tango, who seems to think we all need to put in a few more hours of DIY. Seriously, if us girls spent any more time diddling, nothing would get done around here!

Fellas, do you enjoy seeing your girl exercising her fingers, or would her hands be put to better use on your cock? I don’t really need to ask our lesbian and bi-girl fans whether they enjoy it, right?! Personally it’s something I love to see, which is why I’m an ardent campaigner for our solo masturbation movies such as the recent wankfest Wet and Dripping. What’s your favourite vivthomas.com solo masturbation scene ever?

By the way, the gorgeous girl in these pics is Kylie, she looks like she masturbates a LOT. Just sayin’…

Naked rider!

Hahaha, hahaha! I literally cannot stop giggling over this shot of a naked motorcycle rider snapped in Romania (and kudos to the photographer, who had amazingly steady hands!). According to the UK Metro newspaper, this rather attractive nude pillion rider was pulled over by police and ticketed – for not wearing a helmet! – before being allowed to continue on her way, stark naked except for the helmet.

Now, we have attempted some unusual filming feats here at vivthomas.com, but we do generally draw the line at blatant public nudity, which can get you into a whole heap of trouble. This lovely lady evidently had no such qualms! Are you folks fans of the public pubic display, boob or fanny flashing, or any such naughty acts, or do you think nakedness should remain behind closed doors?

Study proves women who are easily aroused have sex more often!

From the university of Tell Us Something We Didn’t Already Know, here is an academic study that demonstrates that women who are ‘easily aroused by erotic stimuli’ are more likely to engage in impulsive sexual behaviour. On the other hand, women who are easily aroused by pictures of food tend to eat more pies…

I have to confess to not being utterly amazed by these findings. I am a horny woman who finds sexual images arousing, therefore I am more likely to have sex? Well, duh! I think we all know that vivthomas.com exists precisely to cater for our very human desire to watch erotic images and be stimulated by them. Without the ability to become aroused, I imagine we would soon become extinct… or at least very, very bored!

I’m a visual person, so I find sexy images, both pictures and movies, turn me on the most. Today I am very much enjoying these new pics of busty redhead Jana, who has a lot of the assets I find extremely stimulating – great boobs, pretty pussy, fantastic bum – she’s got it all going on! I’m guessing it’s the same for most of you folks – or are there times when your other senses come more into play?

Just wondering… I am easily aroused by shoe catalogues, does this give me a scientific way to justify my outrageous shopping habits to Viv?